Disenfranchised Grief

Disenfranchised grief is a natural emotional reaction following a loss that is not openly accepted by society.

What sets disenfranchised grief apart is that it does not bring out sympathy or empathy in others. This sends the bereaved person a message that it is not acceptable to feel or express their pain and emotions.

According to Ken Doka, the American Grief and Loss expert who defined this grief in 1989 “Disenfranchised grief refers to a loss that’s not openly acknowledged, socially mourned or publicly supported”.

He stated that there are five categories of this type of grief. These are when:

• The loss isn’t seen as important by others.
• The type of loss isn’t acknowledged or is stigmatized.
• Some people are not seen as entitled to grieve.
• The circumstances of the death are denied.
• The way grief is expressed is judged by others.

It is normal and expected to grieve after any loss, but not all losses are viewed equally by those around us. Not feeling welcome or comfortable to outwardly mourn or express the emotions that come with a loss can be isolating and can prolong and complicate the grieving process.

Have a look below at Jimmy Stewart reading a touching poem about his dog 'Beau' on the Carson Tonight Show.

All grief is most certainly valid...

Compassion Fatigue in Funeral Directors

“The funeral director operates in a market with a seemingly endless source of supply – death will always occur and this service will always be required” (Parsons, 2003, p. 70).

This "endless source of supply" gave me the idea of examining the possibility that some funeral directors in Ireland may be susceptible to compassion fatigue. Thus formed the main hypothesis around my undergraduate psychology dissertation.

 

"One of the primary caregivers to the newly bereaved is the funeral director (Parsons, 2003). In their work with the bereaved and through body handling, they are among a group of occupations that witness death on a regular basis (Harrawood, White, & Benshoff, 2008). It is estimated that there are 600 funeral service providers in Ireland (Irish Hospice Foundation, 2011), who are responsible for the burial or cremation of up to 30,000 people a year. Some undertaking for the funeral director may be simply about guiding a family through proceedings and ensuring everything runs smoothly (Holloway et al., 2013), however more difficult situations may also present. Individuals who are bereaved by homicide can experience overwhelming emotions and intense suffering beyond the imagination of some (Malone, 2007). In organising funeral arrangements for these mourners, what is presented to the funeral director is most certainly a negotiation with a traumatised population. As Ireland has one of the highest rates of homicide in Europe (O’Keefe, 2014), and with 83 recorded cases in 2013 alone (Central Statistics Office, 2014), it is reasonable to suggest that some funeral directors are operating in an environment at risk of secondary traumatic stress."

It managed to get published in the Student Psychology Journal of Ireland and additionally received the best submission award. So all a whirlwind and proud venture for me. Aside from the results of the study, I think what I learned most is the actual arduous process that goes into research work and I tip my hat to those who work in research positions on a daily basis. So with a Masters dissertation about to begin, all I can do is sweat the thoughts of it. But it'll be fun...right?

I attached the link to the complete manuscript below if this is your cup of tea / can't sleep etc.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Link to full manuscript here
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''The very act of being compassionate and empathic extracts a cost under most circumstances. In our effort to view the world from the perspective of the suffering we suffer. The meaning of compassion is to bear suffering. Compassion fatigue, like any other kind of fatigue, reduces our capacity or our interest in bearing the suffering of others.''
                                                                         ~ Charles Figley, ''Compassion Fatigue: Psychotherapists’ Chronic Lack of Self-Care'' (2002)

Loss of a Partner in Old Age

Old people don't die of a 'broken heart', but because grief weakens their immune system, according to scientists.

 

Dr. Anna Phillips, who led the University of Birmingham study, said ''I believe it's the answer to why we see wives and husbands dying soon after the death of a spouse, who is their main social support.''

The researchers argue that this could help explain why elderly couples often die within days of each other. They found that bereavement causes stress hormones to become unbalanced in the elderly and lead to a reduction in immune system cells.

 

They analysed a type of white blood cell called the neutrophil, which plays a critical role in fending off any invasions of bacteria or other infectious agents that could lead to serious illnesses, such as pneumonia, which often claims the lives of elderly, bereaved people. While neutrophil numbers were not lowered in the older people, their ability to kill bacteria with destructive molecules called reactive-oxygen species was compromised.

 

However, the researchers found that the phenomenon was only seen in people older than 65. Younger people appear to be less susceptible to the physical effects of bereavement on their immune systems.

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''A broken heart bleeds tears''  
                                         ~ Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free