2018, In the Blink of an Eye

It was the Busta Rhymes, It was the Wursta Rhymes.

From the Ordinary to the Extraordinary.
2 interviews and 4 brake shoes,
Researching and breakthroughs.
New gins, old gins. New friends, old friends.
Relationships, Friendships, Hardships.

Auschwitz tours and Cards against Humanity,
Graphing data while losing my Sanity.
From breakfasts at the Junction, and bloody Coppers tryna function.
Yanny or Laurel, and every minor quarrel,
The piss-ups in Enniscorthy; bordering on the immoral.

Out fine dining or just eating Chickens,
Netflix and chill - scratching my Charles Dickens.
McGregor, Mourinho, and Kim Jong Un,
Causeways and Salt Mines and the Pope in Ballymun.

A little off the top, 20 on number seven,
BT, T.M.Lewin; feck the recession.
A year of kind and special acts,
And the scumbags, maggots, and cheap lousy [redacts].

From flossing to yodelling, to surgery on a grape,
I'm eating too many selection boxes, to maintain this shape.
A gazillion birthdays, 3 weddings and the christening.
Bustin' my balls in spontaneous River Dancin'.

Doctors checking, and dentists pulling,
Bar staff pouring...and me skulling.
Drinking-boozing, messy nights of fun.
Shots and beer, and Christ the fear.

Repealing the 8th, "It's Coming Home".
Donald Trump, and a Game of Thrones.
Over-worked and underlaid,
Wondering next when I'll get paid.

The M50 and swearing, but air travel's fine,
Albeit, I'm preloaded on wine.
Upload, download, liking and scrolling,
Ticking off bucket lists and scenes in Poland.

Jameson tours and the 90 foot of snow,
Hen parties, music; and the boats and hoes.
Stairways to Heaven and selfies from hell.
Hello to new employers, and to others farewell.

Overindulgence and moderation,
Peter Casey and a polling station.
Studying-advising, musing-procrastinating.
Always buying, more than saving.

To jumping in, and my comfort zones,
To the Lynx showers and the new colognes.
Bills, NCTs and Penalty Points.
Inbox checking, PowerPoints.

Wandering Northside, Southside, Countryside,
Wondering if I'll ever be Board Certified.
Presidential hopefuls and Michael D.
To too much thinking WITH my D.

And the working hard or hardly working,
The Titanic, volunteering, and all the flirting.
From reading comments in the Journal,
To overcoming societal hurdles.

Alarms, snooze; being lazy,
To newborn nieces...'Sup Baby!
Crossing a rope bridge in Northern tranquillity,
To working with disability, and wanting stability.

RIP Dolores and a Queen of Soul,
Royal Weddings, Backstops, and Brexit me hole!
Sober analysis and common sense,
Or being indecisive and sitting on the fence.

Laminating, researching, systematic-reviewing.
Gym and sweating, or sitting and regretting.
Dressing up, grooming and shaving,
Dating - Mating - Masturbating.

To being an ass, and a misplaced boarding pass,
To the comedy and laughs, that ye can't say at Mass.
The West of Ireland, Beasts from the East,
Afternoon tea in the sunny South East.

Happiness, sadness, pain and stress,
Sports and dog-walking...cleaning up his mess.
The whole shebang, and travels to London,
Crying-fighting-apologising...loving.

John Lewis and a cross city Luas; watering cans - hose pipe bans.
Bad weather, good weather - now and then.
That summer for 3 months, can we have it again?
Haps to the Baps, and VB-MAPPs;
Chicken wraps and hungover Macs.

Confirmations and celebrations,
Heuston station, agencies relocating.
Eating-munching, and trying not to choke,
Cleaning, scrubbing...leave the big pan to soak.

All the self-talk and the feeling well,
To the sneaky self-doubt...FML.
Hear me now, and hear me well,
It'll probably get worse before it gets well.

Every faux pas, and every blooper,
Fearing change, yet embracing the future.
To every yes, and every no,
From pillar to post, to the status quo.

So 2019, no quiet ones then,
In the words of a Pint-Man, "I'll go at it again".

Christmas Carol Favourites - The Therapist and his Client

Schizophrenia ~ Do You Hear What I Hear?

Depressed ~ Driving Off A Cliff For Christmas...

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ~ Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer...

Compulsive Gambler ~ Run Rudolph Run!!!

Passive Aggressive ~ All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names...

Agoraphobia ~ Hiding Behind The Christmas Tree, At The Christmas Party Hop...

Multiple Personality Disorder ~ We Three Queens Disoriented Are...

Alcoholic ~ All I Want For Christmas Is........To Get Sh*t-Faced!

Dementia ~ I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas...

Pyromaniac ~ Later on...we'll conspire...as we dream by the fire...

Tourette's ~ Jingle F**K! Jingle B****CKS!

Morbidly Obese ~ It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like...Diabetes !

Narcissistic ~ Hark The Herald Angels Sing About Me...

Body Dysmorphic ~ All I Want for Christmas.......is 6% Body-Fat And A Nose Job

Paranoid ~ Santa Claus Is Coming To.....Get Me !

Hypochondriac ~ He's making a complaint, He's checking it twice, He's not very happy with his doctor's advice...

Erotomania ~ The Twelve Dicks of Christmas...

Sadistic ~ Jingle Bells, Baseball Bats With Holes, The Safety Word is Sleigh...

Masochistic ~ Rudolph the Red-Arsed Reindeer...

Antisocial Personality Disorder ~ Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, the very next day you called me a scumbag, a maggot...

Social Phobia ~ Here Comes Santa Claus...Hide!

Borderline Personality Disorder ~ Thoughts Of Roasting On An Open Fire...

Personality Disorder ~ You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why...

Insomniac ~ I'm.....Dreaming About....Sh*t All...

Manic ~ Deck The Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Offices....

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ~ Jingle Bells One, Jingle Bells Two, Jingle Bells Three, Jingle Bells Four, Jingle Bells Five, Jingle Bells Six, Jingle Bells Eight...Sh*t!...Jingle Bells One...

ADHD ~ He's Making A List, And Checking It Twice, Gonna Find Out...Do I Want Chicken Curry And Rice?

Exhibitionist ~ All I Want For Christmas...Is A Full Frontal !
 

 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 ''The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live''                                                                                                                ~ George Carlin