The fact that these exist makes me a happier humanoid.

So put down that paper IMMEDIATELY - and bury your face in to some of these classics.


How many lies could Pinocchio tell before it became lethal?
Does Winnie the Pooh have a B12 Deficiency?
If Clouds Really Had Silver Linings
Defecating a Brick
Powering Disney’s Frozen with a Carnot Refrigerator
Effects of Dumping Pig Manure into a Lake –The Simpsons Movie
How much energy would be required for Game of Thrones dragon Viserion to destroy the Wall?
The Viability of coming in like a Wrecking Ball
Playing ‘The Floor is Lava’ in Real Life
Breaking Bad: Gus Fring’s Face Blown Off
How Long Would It Actually Take To Catch Them All?
Simply Walking into Mordor: How Much Lembas Would the Fellowship Have Needed?
"So hungry I could eat a horse!" - Could it be done?
Unbelievable Tekkers
How fast could a mermaid swim?
How far would The Proclaimers walk for you?
Temperature decrease in the brain from a Slush Puppie
Is purple rain possible?
Buddy the Elf’s Health Problems
The Range of the Dragon Shout in Skyrim
Could you survive on celery alone?
Slapping Someone Into Next Week
Are the Hometrees in James Cameron’s Avatar Structurally Possible?
Spidey Motion
Is it possible to cry a river?
The Viability of Throwing Giant Tortoises onto Mines


Pdfs for these available and many other page-turners here: Journal of Interdisciplinary Science Topics

Your eyes will fizz. Thank me later.

The Porcelaine Throne

I don't know why either?

But if you think that's bad it could be worse. In 1976, Middlemist and colleagues carried out an experiment in which they measured the time to onset and the duration of urination of men in toilets at a college. The ''purpose'' of the research was to study the effect of personal space on a measure of physiological arousal (urination times).

 

The students were observed while alone or with a confederate of the experimenter, who stood at the next stall or at a more distant stall in the restroom. The presence and closeness of the confederate did have the effect of delaying urination and shortening the duration of urination. The situation is one that men experience on a regular basis, however one can question whether the invasion of privacy was justified.

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Whether you squat in an alley or sittin' on a porcelain throne, don't really change the moment, now do it?
                                                                                                                                                       ~ Omar, The Wire

Typoglycemia

This refers to a neologism given to a purported recent discovery about the cognitive processes behind reading written text. The word does not refer to any actual medical condition related to hypoglycaemia. The word appears to be a portmanteau of "typo", as in typographical error, and "hypoglycaemia". It is an urban legend/Internet meme that appears to have an element of truth to it.

 

The legend, propagated by email and message boards, purportedly demonstrates that readers can understand the meaning of words in a sentence even when the interior letters of each word are scrambled. As long as all the necessary letters are present, and the first and last letters remain the same, readers appear to have little trouble reading the text.

 

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

 

 

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''Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.'' ~  Søren Kierkegaard

The Best Comedy Stand-Up Intro Of All Time? - THIS

I'm a modern man, a man for the millennium
Digital and smoke-free
A diversified, multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction who's politically and anatomically ecologically incorrect
I've been up-linked and down-loaded, I've been in-putted and out-sourced
I know the up-side of down-sizing, I know the down-side of up-grading
I'm a high-tech low-life
A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, bi-coastal, multi-tasker and I can give ya a gigabyte in a nanosecond
I'm new-wave but I'm old-school and my inner child is outward-bound
I'm a hot-wired, heat-seeking, warm-hearted cool customer
I'm voice-activated and bio-degradable
I interface in my database, my database is in cyberspace
So I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time to time I'm radioactive
Behind the eight-ball, ahead of the curve, ridin' the wave, dodgin' the bullet, pushin' the envelope
I'm on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs
I got no need for coke and speed, I got no urge to binge and purge
I'm in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top but under-the-radar
A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary
A street-wise smart bomb, a top gun bottom feeder
I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps
I'm a totally on-going, big foot, slam dunk rain-maker with a pro-active out-reach
A raging work-aholic, a working rage-aholic
Out of rehab and in denial
I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda
Ya can't shut me up, ya can't dumb me down
'Cause I'm tireless and I'm wireless, I'm an alpha-male on beta-blockers
I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward
Up-front, down-home, low rent, high-maintenance
Super-size, long-lasting, high definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last
I'm a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head-case
I'm prematurely post-traumatic and I have a love child who sends me hate mail
But I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing, I'm sharing
A supportive, bonding, nurturing, primary care-giver
My output is down but my income is up
I take a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash flow
I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports
I'm gender-specific, capital-intensive, user-friendly and lactose-intolerant
I like rough sex, I like tough love
I use the F word in my email and the software on my hard drive is hardcore, no soft porn
I bought a microwave at a mini-mall, I bought a mini van at a mega-store
I eat fast food in the slow lane
I'm toll-free, bite-size, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes
A full-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically-formulated, medical miracle
I been pre-washed, pro-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and I have an unlimited broadband capacity
I'm a rude dude but I'm the real deal; lean and mean
I'm cocked, locked and ready to rock; rough, tough, and hard to bluff
I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide, I got glide in my stride
Drivin' and movin', sailin' and spinnin', jivin' and groovin', wailin' and winnin'
I don't snooze so I don't lose
I keep the pedal to the metal, and the rubber on the road
I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time
I'm hangin' in, there ain't no doubt
And I'm hangin' tough, over and out.


~ George Carlin from Life Is Worth Losing

YouTube Link to Video

Job Seeking Psychiatrists

This post is meant in good-spirits. Don't get offended. If we can't incorporate and utilise humour in our daily lives then we're already doomed. Live, love, and laugh a lot!

* ''I don't want you to think of me as your Psychiatrist. Instead, I want you to think of me as a mental patient who killed the Psychiatrist before you got here...''

* ''So you think you are a potato? . . . On the couch please...''

* ''Welcome to your first day of Freudian analysis. What seems to be the penis?...''

* ''You say that you are paranoid? But I have a report here that says you looked very relaxed in the bath this morning...''

* ''O.K, Word Associations. I'm going to say a word and I want you to say the first thing that pops into your breasts...''

* ''You seem to have emotional problems and a below average I.Q...I'm prescribing Jersey Shore...''

* ''If you don't think I'm a nosey b**tard, then why did you write that in your diary?''

* ''Yeah.....the voices in your head are not only real, but they're accurate too''

* ''It's time to take a good long look at yourself''... The narcissist agreed.

* ''You being followed here to this appointment is just a delusion, because I followed you and there was nobody following you...''

* ''Oh that's a classic dream...it means that you're a psycho...''
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- Interpretations and Diagnoses' as above can lead to a life of licking stamps for dinner.

Crap joke of the Week

Pavlov?

That name rings a bell...

As Useful as an Ash-tray on a Motor-bike

I remember reading one time that if you write an essay ''like a boss'', your rough draft can be your final draft.

Well...this is the biggest load of horse-sh*t I've ever wrote!! Back to the drawing board...

More aptly: If you write an essay ''like a boss'', your rough draft will be your ticket to doing the repeats in September.

However: The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up : /