Job Seeking Psychiatrists

This post is meant in good-spirits. Don't get offended. If we can't incorporate and utilise humour in our daily lives then we're already doomed. Live, love, and laugh a lot!

* ''I don't want you to think of me as your Psychiatrist. Instead, I want you to think of me as a mental patient who killed the Psychiatrist before you got here...''

* ''So you think you are a potato? . . . On the couch please...''

* ''Welcome to your first day of Freudian analysis. What seems to be the penis?...''

* ''You say that you are paranoid? But I have a report here that says you looked very relaxed in the bath this morning...''

* ''O.K, Word Associations. I'm going to say a word and I want you to say the first thing that pops into your breasts...''

* ''You seem to have emotional problems and a below average I.Q...I'm prescribing Jersey Shore...''

* ''If you don't think I'm a nosey b**tard, then why did you write that in your diary?''

* ''Yeah.....the voices in your head are not only real, but they're accurate too''

* ''It's time to take a good long look at yourself''... The narcissist agreed.

* ''You being followed here to this appointment is just a delusion, because I followed you and there was nobody following you...''

* ''Oh that's a classic dream...it means that you're a psycho...''
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- Interpretations and Diagnoses' as above can lead to a life of licking stamps for dinner.