F**k the Zero

The grip of addiction

Some are just better able to deal with the daily punches of life

Pain or damage don’t end the world, or despair, or f**king beatings.
The world ends when you’re dead, until then, you got more punishment in store.
Stand it like a man, and give some back.

- Al Swearengen (Ian McShane) on HBO show Deadwood; S02 E07.

Chekhov’s Gun

Any detail in a story should have a purpose in the overall narrative.

Chekhov's Gun is a narrative principle where an element introduced into a story first seems unimportant but will later take on great significance. The principle postulates that any seemingly unimportant element introduced into a story - an object, a character trait, a backstory, an allergy - should later have relevance.

Chekhov liked to use guns to illustrate his point, but his advice is not about the weapons at all. Writers create a sort of unspoken contract with readers, according to this principle. That contract states that we include details because they’re important. Readers can trust that if we’ve drawn attention to something, it has significance.

Examples from Movies and TV (warning spoilers):

• In A Song of Ice and Fire, Daenerys receives three dragon eggs as a wedding gift. They are supposed to be fossils. Later, they hatch in Khal Drogo’s funeral pyre, and Daenerys becomes the Mother of Dragons.

• Aliens in 1986. Due to her toughness, intelligence, and ability to think quickly on her feet, Ellen Ripley was the only survivor. People scoff when she offers to assist a crew of guys in loading the ship they will be traveling in soon. Instead, Ripley climbs into a power loader and effortlessly maneuvers around important things to demonstrate her abilities. The scene’s apparent objective is to reaffirm her competency while also providing a laugh by showing how she corrects the boys. Cut to the end of the film, a gigantic, towering Xenomorph is threatening Little Newt. Ripley jumps into the power loader, warns the creature to stay away from the girl, and then beats it with the machine.

• Egon Spengler issues a stern warning when the proton packs are first presented in Ghostbusters: “Do not cross the streams.” Egon makes it plain that this is not a good idea. The movie’s final act pits them against an unusual foe: a 100-foot-tall incarnation of the Stay-Puft marshmallow man. They have tried everything to stop it, so they decide to break the single most crucial proton pack rule. The crossing streams hit the marshmallow man, causing him to explode.

• M. Night Shyamalan had a good one in the film Signs, where it is mentioned that Phoenix's character used to be a baseball star and you see a bat in the corner in a shot. All works out.

• Kill Bill: Volume 2 - Beatrix Kiddo is on a mission to find Bill, the man who attempted to murder her on her wedding day with his team of assassins, in Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill. She works her way through those assassins throughout two flicks, brutally executing them as she comes closer to her ultimate victim. In one flashback sequence, Bill cites Pai Mei’s supposed Five-Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique. It is a death blow in which someone uses his fingertips to strike you at five different pressure spots on your body and then walks away. After five steps, though, your heart explodes inside your body, and you collapse to the floor, dead. Beatrix finally reaches Bill after much bloodshed, realizing that the girl they conceived is still alive. For a brief time, it appears as if she would forego her vengeance mission to form a family with him. However, this is only a decoy. In the end, Beatrix uses the Five-Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique on Bill, causing him to collapse and die a short time later.

• Nearly all James Bond films - when Q introduces the latest gadgets and weapons to Bond, each of which inevitably come into play at a critical point later in the film.

• Home Alone (1990) Kevin watches TV, consumes junk food, and snoops through his brother’s room when his family leaves for vacation without him. He discovers Buzz’s pet tarantula, Axl, inside. After failing to ascend a shelf, Kevin unintentionally releases it from its tank and crashes to the ground. Marv and Harry, two novice burglars, later break into the house. Kevin foils their disastrous plans with a series of improvised booby traps. Both males are severely beaten and bruised as a result of the incident. However, when Marv grips Kevin’s leg, the tables are about to turn. When the child notices Axl wandering around, he grabs the tarantula and places it directly on Marv’s face. The thief cries in terror, and Harry tries to smash it with a crowbar but ends up hitting his partner.

• The ferret in Kindergarten Cop. Shows up in the first act, you think that it’s purpose is to help teach the kids by being the classroom pet in the second act, then it bites the bad guys hand in the climax of the third act which distracts him long enough for Arnie to pickup his gun and shoot him. 

• The Shawshank Redemption written by Stephen King. The film follows Andy, played by Tim Robbins, who is convicted of murdering his wife and her lover and is sentenced to life imprisonment in Shawshank State Penitentiary. He is befriended by Red, played by Morgan Freeman, who also serves a life sentence in the same prison. Andy is regularly harassed by his prison mates and finds solace in his friendship with Andy. Red arranges a poster and a rock hammer for Andy, which becomes integral to Andy’s life in prison, revealed in the third act of the film.

• Austin Powers' Swedish Made Penis Enlarger Pump. It ends up getting used to defeat 'Random Task' at the end of the movie!    

Chekhov’s Gun is all about making and honoring promises to the audience. It all boils down to plant and payback. When a writer draws the audience’s attention to something, such as a gun, the expectation is that the character will use the gun at some point during the story. If the pistol is not utilized, viewers will be upset, wondering why there were so many close-up shots if it was unnecessary to the plot.

Chekhov’s gun works for viewers because it builds and meets expectations.

Source for comic: Too Much Coffee

Disenfranchised Grief

Disenfranchised grief is a natural emotional reaction following a loss that is not openly accepted by society.

What sets disenfranchised grief apart is that it does not bring out sympathy or empathy in others. This sends the bereaved person a message that it is not acceptable to feel or express their pain and emotions.

According to Ken Doka, the American Grief and Loss expert who defined this grief in 1989 “Disenfranchised grief refers to a loss that’s not openly acknowledged, socially mourned or publicly supported”.

He stated that there are five categories of this type of grief. These are when:

• The loss isn’t seen as important by others.
• The type of loss isn’t acknowledged or is stigmatized.
• Some people are not seen as entitled to grieve.
• The circumstances of the death are denied.
• The way grief is expressed is judged by others.

It is normal and expected to grieve after any loss, but not all losses are viewed equally by those around us. Not feeling welcome or comfortable to outwardly mourn or express the emotions that come with a loss can be isolating and can prolong and complicate the grieving process.

Have a look below at Jimmy Stewart reading a touching poem about his dog 'Beau' on the Carson Tonight Show.

All grief is most certainly valid...

A huge depression over Ireland…and now the weather forecast.

At this stage I think Irish people would be better off evolving gills.

Traditional Psychology

You have two extremes, you have pop psychology – celebrity therapists writing best sellers, getting on talk shows, and making some miserable couple weep on television – it’s kind of a pornography really.

And then on the other hand, you’ve got the experts – the psychologists – orthodox, authority figures – everything under control and supervised, examined under a bright light – examined to death; completely and utterly divorced from real life.

''Begin'' - from The Essential Brendan Kennelly.

Brendan Kennelly recited this poem at the end of an episode of The Late Late Show in 1997. During the episode, Gay Byrne spoke with a recently bereaved mother who was chosen at random from among hundreds of thousands of entries for a postal quiz. The caller's daughter had sadly passed away due to a road accident the night before. It was a unique moment in the history of Irish television. Brendan's recital of the poem at the end of the show just fit perfectly in to the indescribable tragedy of it all.

Link: Late Late Show 1997 - Rita - YouTube

Begin again to the summoning birds
to the sight of the light at the window,
begin to the roar of morning traffic
all along Pembroke Road.

Every beginning is a promise
born in light and dying in dark
determination and exaltation of springtime
flowering the way to work.

Begin to the pageant of queuing girls
the arrogant loneliness of swans in the canal
bridges linking the past and future
old friends passing though with us still.

Begin to the loneliness that cannot end
since it perhaps is what makes us begin,
begin to wonder at unknown faces
at crying birds in the sudden rain
at branches stark in the willing sunlight
at seagulls foraging for bread
at couples sharing a sunny secret
alone together while making good.

Though we live in a world that dreams of ending
that always seems about to give in
something that will not acknowledge conclusion
insists that we forever begin.

Stop watching. Start doing

More content is loaded on to YouTube in 60 days than has ever been broadcast in America for 60 years.

Keep scrollin' scrollin' scrollin' scrollin'

How many hundreds of miles do you think you've scrolled in your lifetime?

The problem with social media is that there's no 'stopping-cues'. In comparison say to a book (where you might come to the end of a chapter and decide whether you want to continue or not), or watching a tv program (where it ultimately ends or you finish a box-set or series), but with social media you can avail of endless scrolling through timelines that don't offer a similar stopping-cue. The box-set binges pale in comparison to the timeline binge.

On Twitter, new content is being produced quicker than you can ever read what’s already being posted.

You'll never catch up with it all.

The fact that these exist makes me a happier humanoid.

So put down that paper IMMEDIATELY - and bury your face in to some of these classics.


How many lies could Pinocchio tell before it became lethal?
Does Winnie the Pooh have a B12 Deficiency?
If Clouds Really Had Silver Linings
Defecating a Brick
Powering Disney’s Frozen with a Carnot Refrigerator
Effects of Dumping Pig Manure into a Lake –The Simpsons Movie
How much energy would be required for Game of Thrones dragon Viserion to destroy the Wall?
The Viability of coming in like a Wrecking Ball
Playing ‘The Floor is Lava’ in Real Life
Breaking Bad: Gus Fring’s Face Blown Off
How Long Would It Actually Take To Catch Them All?
Simply Walking into Mordor: How Much Lembas Would the Fellowship Have Needed?
"So hungry I could eat a horse!" - Could it be done?
Unbelievable Tekkers
How fast could a mermaid swim?
How far would The Proclaimers walk for you?
Temperature decrease in the brain from a Slush Puppie
Is purple rain possible?
Buddy the Elf’s Health Problems
The Range of the Dragon Shout in Skyrim
Could you survive on celery alone?
Slapping Someone Into Next Week
Are the Hometrees in James Cameron’s Avatar Structurally Possible?
Spidey Motion
Is it possible to cry a river?
The Viability of Throwing Giant Tortoises onto Mines


Pdfs for these available and many other page-turners here: Journal of Interdisciplinary Science Topics

Your eyes will fizz. Thank me later.

Final hurdles are Coming

More Game of Thrones please and less of this academic pressure...

 

Fear Conditioning

One form of learning that plays a prominent role in consumer’s behaviour is fear conditioning.

In Watson and Rayner’s seminal experiment with “Little Albert” (1920), they showed how fear can become a conditioned emotional reaction. Marketers may also be incorporating some of Watson and Rayner’s behavioural theories to influence their consumer’s behaviour.

People often learn by information and instruction which situations to fear (Rachman, 1977). Mowrer (1939) argued that fear “may effectively motivate human beings” and that the curtailment of fear “may serve powerfully to reinforce behaviour that brings about such a state of relief or security”.

Accordingly, companies that market their products often use forms of fear conditioning in an attempt to increase their revenue.

Clearasil, a skin care product for the treatment of acne, ran television advertisements portraying spotty teenagers looking glum and downbeat; but joyful and surrounded by attractive women once the product had been discovered. Similar advertising themes exist with Lynx body spray. The product is advertised as a potent solution for men to acquire more attention from women, a “spray more - get more” mantra of fear conditioning.  

Both advertisements suggest an attempt at fear conditioning to promote their product to possibly insecure adolescent males. The fear can be conditioned by frequent repetition of the association between the new conditioned stimulus and the fear. Therefore, individuals (consumers) are driven to purchase these products in an attempt to avoid negative outcomes and successfully reduce their fear (Rachman, 1977). It can be further argued that avoidance conditioning is employed in these advertisements; as the consumer learns a response (buy product) and thus avoid an aversive stimulus (e.g. not being attractive).

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"...because then you're watching television, you're watching the news, you're being pumped full of fear, there's floods, there's AIDS, there's murder, cut to commercial, buy the Acura, buy the Colgate, if you have bad breath they're not going to talk to you, if you have pimples, the girl's not going to fuck you, and it's just this campaign of fear, and consumption, and that's what I think it's all based on, the whole idea of keep everyone afraid, and they'll consume." ~ Marilyn Manson (Bowling for Columbine, 2002).

Psychology and Film: A short list of some recommended depictions.

"You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies" (Steve Martin)

Shame - Sex Addiction; Michael Fassbender style.

The Basketball Diaries - Heroin Addiction. A young Di Caprio is more interested in skin popping than shooting hoops. 

 

Awakenings- Catatonia. Based on real events, a tragic and heartfelt story with Robin Williams and Robert DeNiro. From Oliver Sachs' book of the same name.

 

Lars and the Real Girl - Loneliness, Shyness, and Social Ineptitude. When you think it's time enough for the family to meet your sex doll. She's a great listener!

 

Owning Mahowny - Gambling Addiction. The late Phillip Seymour Hoffman as a Canadian Banker with all the cash he needs. Based on a real-life incident: Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce clerk Brian Molony, who embezzled over $10 million from his employers in just 18 months to support his gambling habit.

 

The Butterfly Effect - The Butterfly Effect! The idea, used in chaos theory, whereby a small change at one place in a complex system can have large effects elsewhere, e.g., a butterfly flapping its wings in Rio de Janeiro might change the weather in Chicago.

Memento - Short-Term Memory Loss. Guy Pearce has anterograde amnesia and is unable to store recent memories.

 

Melancholia - Melancholia! Lars Von Trier's take on the mental downfall of one woman (with the end of the world not helping).
 

Project Nim- A great look at the intelligence of our closest animal relative. The chimp also knew one term: 'Ooohh Ooo, Ah Ah', meaning; 'this bath's too hot.' 

Take Shelter - Curtis LaForche (Michael Shannon) starts to believe that he is in the early stages of developing paranoid schizophrenia. His mother was diagnosed with the illness at a similar age and he is fearful of suffering the same fate. The plot explores the boundaries between delusions and reality.

 

The Greatest Movie Ever Sold - Product Placement and Advertising in TV and films;  directed by Morgan Spurlock, the guy who brought you 'Super Size Me'.
 

The Bridge - Suicide. A tragic look at how the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco has become an infamous place to take one's life.

 

Girl, Interrupted - Mental Institutions. Based on the true story of Susanna Kaysen in the 1960s.

 

The Machinist - An Insomniac doubting his own sanity. The producers of the film claim that Christian Bale dropped from about 173 pounds in weight down to about 110 pounds to make the film. His 63-pound weight loss is said to be a record for any actor for a movie role. He regained the weight in time for his role in Batman Begins (2005). A must see.

 

American Beauty - A film about suffocating conformity to social roles, and how people sometimes need to break free of them.
 

Castaway - Survival, Loneliness, Social Isolation; and a ball more loyal than most friends. WILSON!!!!

Helen - Major Depressive Disorder. A powerful depiction of woman going through the throes of Clinical Depression.

Monster- Psychopathy. Based on the life of Aileen Wuornos. It earned Charlize Theron an Academy Award for best Actress; it could have got one for the similarity alone (right). 

 

Changeling - Capgras Syndrome: A disorder in which a person holds a delusion that a friend, spouse, parent, or other close family member has been replaced by an identical-looking impostor.

 

Catfish - The internet and online personas. Great documentary style film showing just how false the online world can be. It can also shed light on the often predatory world of online behaviour.

 

Hotel Rwanda - Prejudice and discrimination. The film is also relevant to the discussion of pro-social and altruistic behaviours. It was nominated for Best Original Screenplay at the 77th Academy Awards, with Don Cheadle also being nominated for Best Actor.

 

Crash - An incredibly powerful and sophisticated 2004 Paul Haggis film about cultural diversity.

 

Devil's Advocate - Persuasion and attitude change. ''Vanity, definitely my favourite sin.''

 

The Savages - Dementia and family conflict amongst others. Starring Laura Linney and the late Philip Seymour Hoffman.

 

< Me, Myself & Irene - Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID); previously known as Multiple Personality Disorder.

or Fight Club (right) if you fancy less laughs.

Boyhood - Growing up and the elusive experience of youth. Amazingly it was shot just over 39 days spanning 12 years.

 

12 Angry Men - An incredibly powerful portrayal of social influence and decision-making processes within a jury. It's in black and white, but things aren't as black and white as they may seem. Puns...

Fatal Attraction - Erotomania. The top grossing movie of 1987. Nominated for several Academy Awards; the movie was the cause of much discussion around the topic of marital infidelity.

Bully - Bullying. A 2011 documentary; the film follows the lives of five students in U.S. schools who face bullying on a daily basis.

127 Hours - Resilience. Produced by Danny Boyle; a true story based on mountain climber Aron Ralston.

Racism and Prejudice; the list here is endless, but notable mentions go to American History X, A Time to Kill , Gran Torino , and This is England.

 

Antichrist - Delusions, Sadomasochism, Depression, Femininity and the rest. To be honest, this one is completely out there; make of it what you will. Directed by Lars von Trier, some have dubbed it a grotesque masterpiece. I thought it was top class; even though I didn't get my head around it.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"It's funny how the colours of the real world only seem really real when you watch them on a screen."
                                                                                                                                   ~ Anthony Burgess

Game of Thrones

All men must die ... be unethically labelled.

The Hound

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - an anxiety disorder associated with serious traumatic events and recurrent thoughts and images. PTSD develops after a terrifying ordeal that involved physical harm or the threat of physical harm. The person who develops PTSD may have been the one who was harmed, the harm may have happened to a loved one, or the person may have witnessed a harmful event that happened to loved ones or strangers.

John Snow

Martyr Complex - in psychology, a person who has a martyr complex, sometimes associated with the term victim complex, desires the feeling of being a martyr for his/her own sake, seeking out suffering or persecution because it feeds a psychological need. In some cases, this results from the belief that the martyr has been singled out for persecution because of exceptional ability or integrity. Other martyr complexes involve wilful suffering in the name of love or duty.
 

Tyrion Lannister

''I'm not a fighter, I'm a bleeder''

Small Man Syndrome - a popular term for the inferiority complex that short men in society are commonly assumed to possess, which causes them, at least per theory, to overcompensate by trying harder than men of average height in life’s activities.

Nothing some lemon cake won't sort out.

Sansa Stark
The Masochist - a person who obtains a primary or secondary gain from tolerating mental abuse from those in his or her circle of contact. The word  masochistic  is now commonly used to describe personality traits in an emotional, rather than sexual sense. 

Mag Mar Tun Doh Weg (Giant)
Marfan Syndrome - a genetic disorder that affects the body’s connective tissue. People with Marfan tend to be unusually tall, with long limbs and long, thin fingers. In most cases, Marfan syndrome is passed down through families (inherited). However, up to 30% of patients have no family history, which is called "sporadic." In sporadic cases, the syndrome is believed to be caused by a new gene change.

''Couldn't give a monkeys mate''

Joffrey Baratheon
Anti Social Personality Disorder - a type of chronic mental condition in which a person's ways of thinking, perceiving situations and relating to others are dysfunctional - and destructive. People with antisocial personality disorder typically have no regard for right and wrong and often disregard the rights, wishes and feelings of others. Those with antisocial personality disorder tend to antagonize, manipulate or treat others either harshly or with callous indifference. They may often violate the law, landing in frequent trouble, yet they show no guilt or remorse.

Reek
The Cataleptic - a body's persistence in unusual postures, with waxy rigidity of the limbs, mutism, and complete inactivity, regardless of outside stimuli.

He's available for children's parties too.

Ser Gregor Clegane
The Sadist - someone who enjoys inflicting pain on others; a sadist is all about hurting others, usually to get off sexually. However, this word is about more than sex. Anyone who is mean and enjoys it, like a bully, could be considered a sadist. The word sadistic is now commonly used to describe personality traits in an emotional, rather than sexual sense. Oh Mountain, you're going to be so annoyed when we explain all these jokes later.





 

Samwell Tarley
The Obese - excess body fat has accumulated to the extent that it may have a negative effect on health, leading to reduced life expectancy and/or increased health problems. I've seen less bloated men dredged out of rivers. Forget about White Walkers and sealing the tunnel, it's time to plug up Tarley's top-hole.

''Wat ye fookin say about me curls Snow?''

Ser Alliser Thorne

The Narcissist - an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.


 

''Not to be technical brother, but according to Pycell's
chemistry - alcohol is a solution''

 

 

Cersei Lannister
Alcoholism - a chronic disorder marked by excessive and usually compulsive drinking of alcohol leading to psychological and physical dependence or addiction. Forget about the simple Lannister cousin and his beetle smashing, it's the grape apocalypse that's more concerning. I think it's time to put the plug in the jug.

 

 

Anyone for bitty?

Robin Arryn
Oedipus Complex - a child's positive libidinal feelings toward the parent of the opposite sex and hostile or jealous feelings toward the parent of the same sex that develop usually between the ages of three and six and that may be a source of adult personality disorder when unresolved - used especially of the male child.


 

 

 

''Twerkin' ye say?''

 

Grand Maester Pycelle
The Malingerer - fabricating or exaggerating the symptoms of mental or physical disorders for a variety of "secondary gain" motives, especially in order to shirk one's duty, avoid work, etc.

 

 

She seems vexed...and yet she looked
so relaxed in the bath this morning?

 

 

Jorah Mormont
Obsessive love - a hypothetical state in which one person feels an overwhelming obsessive desire to possess another person toward whom they feel a strong attraction, with an inability to accept failure or rejection.

 

Always. Always. Wear a helmet.

Oberyn Martell
The Sex Addict - ''Make sure you f**ked your fill before that day.''

The gene pool could do with a little chlorine

Lysa Arryn

Delusional Jealousy - a person with this delusion falsely believes that a spouse or lover is having an affair, with no proof to back up their claim. Othello Syndrome is a type of delusional jealousy, marked by suspecting a faithful partner of infidelity, with accompanying jealousy, attempts at monitoring and control, and sometimes violence. The problem is named for Shakespeare’s Othello, who murdered his beautiful wife Desdemona because he believed her unfaithful.



 

Hodor's date night was heating up.

Bran Stark
The Psychotic -  an abnormal condition of the mind, and is a generic psychiatric term for a mental state often described as involving a "loss of contact with reality".

Tywin Lannister
The Megalomaniac - ruthless, ambitious, amoral and the lust or craving for power. An arrow hurts just the same whether it's on the Iron Throne or the porcelain throne.

Drogon
The Pyromaniac - a mania for fire setting.










Podrick Payne
Casanova - What happened in that room?

Walder Frey
The Wedding Crasher
Back stabber
Bastard
[insert your own]

''It's sweaty balls up in here...''

Varys
Castration Complex - I suppose?

The armour discretely covered
her 'Who's the man' tattoo

Brienne of Tarth
Masculinity Complex - looks as though she could punch a train unconscious. Enough said.







____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
''Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.''
                                         ~ George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones    

Mirror Mirror on the Wall...



Rouge Test at 17.5 months 

An early test of self-recognition and awareness of oneself is the rouge test. Performed in front of a mirror, a child would have a spot of rouge make-up surreptitiously  placed on their forehead and the reactions based on the child's response to the mirror image would be assessed. It is successfully accomplished by most children by the age of 18 months.  And by god, once we did spot who was in the mirror looking out at us - we couldn't get enough it seems.

 

From clothes shops, shoe shops, sunglasses shops, and a bookies amongst others, some recent places that I have come into contact with this obvious necessity of a fixture include;

 

Starbucks! I'm looking at myself as I ordered a Starbucks the other day. Scruffy, half asleep and surrounded by coffee slurping smugatude...no escape!

 

In a TV store. I catch a glimpse of myself while I ponder which big electric b**tard to buy. While beside me kids jump about in front of an EIGHT FOOT MIRROR sporting 3D glasses, screaming at their parents who look at one other with an undertone of hatred in their eyes, ''Why God, Why us?''

 



@DoucheBag said,
''Ride-by Selfie...lol''

A bank! I mean what the fook? Yes, this is what it looks like to be broke. Haha, no they don't take bank bags full of buttons! ''Hey, I'm financially set for life as long as I die next Tuesday, you reflective son of a ...!''

 

I mean mirrors in phone shops? ''Yes, I think that this phone adequately portrays me as a bell-end, I'll take it''...just before you take a quick selfie and post it on Twitter along with some hoot of a line...Oh the hilarity.

 

In a deli shop! Right beside where you can heat up those heart-attack inducing lumps of dirt, while viewing the look of shame on your face as the microwave pings...and proceeding with a rubberneckers view of your own probable ''Oohh-face'' as scalding hot slop rolls from your chin.  

 

Discount Tuesdays: for those with room temperature I.Q's

What next, fruit and veg shops...''What would I look like eating this banana?'' Newsflash s***head, nobody knows where to look when you're eating a banana, so get over it.
 

Or petrol stations? Just in case you inadvertently go up in a ball of flames, well then at least you can have a front row view to your own smouldering crispy finale. ''20 on number 7 and some after-sun please''.

 

Years ago my grandmother used to come in from a night out and the first thing she would do is check how she looked in the mirror. Or I guess how she looked all those previous hours. I mean she was a great woman and everything, but sure by that stage there was no real point on fixing a stray hair. But nonetheless she did it and surprisingly not once was she presented with a 'There's Something about Mary' scenario.  





'Please leave the hotel room as you would like to find it'
Merle began first on tackling that unnecessary partition wall



Obviously we have the other side of the coin as with everything. Mirrors make a room feel more spacious...and all that Feng shui nonsense. Places such as barbers, fair enough, you're gonna have to wear this 10 euro haircut for the next few weeks...best to have a look at the butchery as it unfolds. Mirror shops, I suppose. Gyms, to inflate ego's or deflate self esteem, either-or.  



Maybe some people just got one too many ''Kick Me's'' posted on their back and you know, they have to check themselves every so often.

Le Moi. Now available in 42"

And then there's the addition of the 'Black mirrors'. Those omnipresent gadgets that allow you to view yourself on a continual basis; the screens of gadgets, TVs, mobile phones, computers through which we interact with the world. But that's for another days ramblings.

Jacques Lacan's Mirror Stage (1936) was described as a founding act that lead to the formation of the ego and the perception of the Subject. The baby's discovery of self is an intellectual act that involves the translation of an image into an idea - the idea of 'Me' or 'Self', or is it 'Selfie'?

Either way, it seems that in present times the "méconnaissance'' of the subject is truly no longer a concern.

__________________________________________________________________________

''Let us be grateful to the mirror for revealing to us our appearance only''
                                                                                                ~ Samuel Butler

Googly eyed for what?

I decided to reconsider the amount of time I've realised that I invest in television.

What do I get out of it?



It's so easy to do nothing at all and just flake there while time gets eaten up . Don't get me wrong, I'd be the first person to watch a marathon of some box-set and the rest when I'm hung-over. But what of the 'psychically sober days'? when I could be applying myself to something that I might possibly be able to benefit from in the future.



''Coming up next, a naked celebrity has to live in a barn full of tramps...''

About 3 hours of TV a day would work out to be 45.5 days per year. 45 days of my year spent watching a TV!! ffs!  Damn you...you big electric b**tard!!

Further,

If I had an average of 6 hours sleep per night, that would amount to 91 days.

If I work 5 days a week for 8 hours = 86 days. Perhaps even 1 hour total to commute = 15 days

45 days (TV) + 91 days (Sleep; essential obviously) + 86 days (Job) + 15 days (Commute) = 237 days.

365-237 = 128 days (give or take) of actual doing.....whatever it is ye do.

Also, on top of this there's the rampant commercialism to persuade you to buy junk ye don't need and the fact that most the content on TV is garbage. Just some random thoughts, but no wonder the bloody years fly by...(perhaps even quicker nowadays in such a technologically orientated environment).

Aaaaaaany-how...why not have a look at the breakdown of your life in jelly beans...go on...sure your doing nothing anyways.

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What's the difference between living and existing?