Rainbow Bridge

For anyone who's ever lost a beloved furry friend

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown

Talk to your friends, Talk to wrong numbers, everyone!

The secret to small talk is putting yourself out there, being open, genuine, and vulnerable in your desire to connect with others. This is more important than managing every interaction perfectly.               

                "Well, if this means opening your door to those in need,

                those in pain,

                caring for them, listening to them,

                if this is practicing medicine, if this is treating a patient...

                then I am guilty as charged.

                Transference is inevitable...

                Every human being has an impact on another.

                Why don't we want that in a patient/doctor relationship?

                A doctor's mission should be not just to prevent death...

                but also to improve the quality of life.

                That's why you treat a disease, you win, you lose.

                You treat a person, I guarantee you, you win, no matter what the outcome.

                Don't let them anesthetize you. Don't let them numb you out to the miracle of life.

                Always live in awe of the glorious mechanism of the human body.

                Let that be the focus of your studies and not a quest for grades...

                which'll give you no idea what kind of doctor you will become.

                Don't wait till you're on the ward to get your humanity back.

                Start your interviewing skills. Start talking to strangers.

                Talk to your friends, Talk to wrong numbers, everyone."

~ Robin Williams, Patch Adams (1998)

Compassion Fatigue in Funeral Directors

“The funeral director operates in a market with a seemingly endless source of supply – death will always occur and this service will always be required” (Parsons, 2003, p. 70).

This "endless source of supply" gave me the idea of examining the possibility that some funeral directors in Ireland may be susceptible to compassion fatigue. Thus formed the main hypothesis around my undergraduate psychology dissertation.

 

"One of the primary caregivers to the newly bereaved is the funeral director (Parsons, 2003). In their work with the bereaved and through body handling, they are among a group of occupations that witness death on a regular basis (Harrawood, White, & Benshoff, 2008). It is estimated that there are 600 funeral service providers in Ireland (Irish Hospice Foundation, 2011), who are responsible for the burial or cremation of up to 30,000 people a year. Some undertaking for the funeral director may be simply about guiding a family through proceedings and ensuring everything runs smoothly (Holloway et al., 2013), however more difficult situations may also present. Individuals who are bereaved by homicide can experience overwhelming emotions and intense suffering beyond the imagination of some (Malone, 2007). In organising funeral arrangements for these mourners, what is presented to the funeral director is most certainly a negotiation with a traumatised population. As Ireland has one of the highest rates of homicide in Europe (O’Keefe, 2014), and with 83 recorded cases in 2013 alone (Central Statistics Office, 2014), it is reasonable to suggest that some funeral directors are operating in an environment at risk of secondary traumatic stress."

It managed to get published in the Student Psychology Journal of Ireland and additionally received the best submission award. So all a whirlwind and proud venture for me. Aside from the results of the study, I think what I learned most is the actual arduous process that goes into research work and I tip my hat to those who work in research positions on a daily basis. So with a Masters dissertation about to begin, all I can do is sweat the thoughts of it. But it'll be fun...right?

I attached the link to the complete manuscript below if this is your cup of tea / can't sleep etc.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Link to full manuscript here
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''The very act of being compassionate and empathic extracts a cost under most circumstances. In our effort to view the world from the perspective of the suffering we suffer. The meaning of compassion is to bear suffering. Compassion fatigue, like any other kind of fatigue, reduces our capacity or our interest in bearing the suffering of others.''
                                                                         ~ Charles Figley, ''Compassion Fatigue: Psychotherapists’ Chronic Lack of Self-Care'' (2002)

Perspective

I love this story from Irvin D. Yalom.

 

One of his patient's with breast cancer who throughout adolescence had been locked in a long, bitter struggle with her naysaying father. Looking forward to some form of reconciliation, she looked forward to her father driving her to college; a time she would be alone with him for several hours. The trip turned out to be a disaster. Her father behaved true to form by grousing at length about the ugly, garbage littered creek by the side of the road. She on the other hand saw no litter whatsoever in the beautiful, rustic, unspoiled stream. She found no way to respond and eventually, lapsing into silence, they spent the remainder of the trip looking away from each other.

 

Later, she made the same trip alone and was astounded to note that there were two streams - one each side of the road. ''This time I was the driver'', she said sadly, and the stream I saw was as ugly and polluted as her father had described it. But by the time she had learned to look out her father' window, it was too late - her father was dead and buried.

 

Yalom remarks that the story remained with him, and on many occasions he has reminded himself and his patients, 'Look out the other's window'. Try to see the world from another's perspective.

 

It's so relevant to many things in life such as empathy and honing our compassion for others. I think it's just awesome, and makes me want to delve into more of Yalom's writings.

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