The Backwards Law

The Backwards Law (Alan Watts): the idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place. 

The more you desperately want to be rich, the more poor and unworthy you feel, regardless of how much money you actually make. The more you want to be sexy and desired, the uglier you come to see yourself, regardless of your actual physical appearance. The more you desperately want to be happy and loved, the lonelier and more afraid you become, regardless of those who surround you. 

Thus, wanting positive experiences is a negative experience – and accepting negative experiences is a positive experience.

Farming in rural Ireland

In Ireland it is common for rates of depression to be highly prevalent in rural areas of the country. One population that are vulnerable are men, particularly farmers who may spend much of their time in isolation tending to their lands and livestock. A tough job to be involved in especially considering the long hours involving little human interaction.

 

Many middle-age men living in rural Ireland who spend the majority of their time farming may often have inherited the farm from their parents. Consequently, they may never have got married due to the amount of time they had to invest in the duties of farming life. Although no one is too old to find a partner, bachelors like these may feel that their time has passed and that there is little chance or time to pursue meeting someone.

 

The 'pickings' may be slimmer if a farmers only dealings with other people are other local farmers, employees in cattle marts and creameries, or vets making visits to the farm to check on animals and so forth. So much so has this combination of depression and isolation been recognised that some veterinarians are even being trained to spot the signs of depression in people they deal with. 

 

It's an extremely relevant issue in Ireland today and has been for a long time. The topic was recently examined in a 2013 film called Pilgrim Hill . It depicts the life of an Irish cattle farmer, living alone with his invalided father in a remote Irish location.

I'd highly recommend a viewing. It captures the forgotten side of rural Ireland and the tragic sense of what is often involved for some men working in the Irish farming industry today.

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The Irish Times (in a four-star review): "Barrett's debut feature is a quietly stunning slice of rural naturalism. A masterful debut."

Warning Signs for Suicide

The best predictor of suicide attempts in both women and men is a verbal or behavioural threat to commit suicide, and such threats should always be taken seriously.

 

One of the most destructive myths about suicide is that people who talk openly about suicide are just seeking attention and do not actually intend to carry out the act. Yet research shows that a high proportion of suicide attempts - perhaps 80 percent - are preceded by some kind of warning (Bagley & Ramsay, 1997). Sometimes the warning is an explicit statement of intent, such as 'I don't want to go on living' or 'I won't be around for much longer'. Other times, the warnings are more subtle, as when a person expresses hopelessness about the future, withdraws from others or from favourite activities, gives away treasured possessions, or takes unusual risks.

 

Other important risk factors are a history of previous suicide attempts and a detailed plan that involves a lethal method (Chiles & Strossahl, 1995; Shneidman, 1998). Substance abuse also increases suicide risk (Yen et al., 2003; Passer & Smith, 2009).

 

There's an enormous amount of pain in the world. Not physical pain but psychological pain. It's an ache in the mind. It's an ache of the negative emotions. It's the ache of guilt and of shame, and of loneliness and rejection. It comes from thwarted, blocked, frustrated, trampled upon psychological needs. And if I were to commit suicide, it would be in terms of my frustrated needs. And if you were my therapist, I would be grateful if you understood me, not in terms of my biology or my parents or my psychodynamics, but in terms of what needs were bugging me.

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''The grief of the worshippers left behind, the awful famine in their hearts, these are too costly terms for the release''
                                                                                                                                                                     ~ Mark Twain

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