The Backwards Law

The Backwards Law was popularized by Alan Watts, but it actually comes from Tao Te Ching, the 2000-year-old classic Chinese text which became the basis of Taoism. It is the idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place. 

The more you desperately want to be rich, the more poor and unworthy you feel, regardless of how much money you actually make. 

The more you want to be sexy and desired, the uglier you come to see yourself, regardless of your actual physical appearance. 

The more you desperately want to be happy and loved, the lonelier and more afraid you become, regardless of those who surround you. 

The more we pursue trying to feel better all the time, the more we reinforce this idea that we are fundamentally lacking and irreparable.

Watts describes it as being in a lake. If you relax and put your head back, you’ll float. But the more you struggle and flail around trying to stay afloat, the more you will sink. Thus, wanting positive experiences is a negative experience – and accepting negative experiences is a positive experience!