Is your outlook brittle or resilient?

''Two men looked out from prison bars,

One saw the mud, the other saw stars.''

― Dale Carnegie

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

Rising road fatalities

The current rising fatalities in the U.S. are caused by what University of Utah cognitive neuroscientist David Strayer, PhD, calls the “four horsemen of death.” Together, they are speed, impairment, distraction, and fatigue, the human foibles behind more than 90% of vehicle crashes.

Prisons and Token Economies

An interesting piece on incarceration and the token economy,

Because prisons are, in a sense, enclosed environments they represent somewhat of a behavioural laboratory where contingencies can be altered and controlled on a large scale. Few other settings allow for such systemic control of influencing variables.

Within prisons, inmates need to maintain some income in order to obtain many necessities and comforts. Altering the economy to a Token Economy and making these necessities and comforts contingent on engagement in skills learning or good behaviour could vastly improve behaviour in a prison system.

Additionally, since these environments are so highly controlled that access to social and recreational contact all must pass through the system – engagement in these things might be used to motivate good behaviour as well.

~ From Behavioral Science in the 21st Century

Ben Franklin effect

Ben Franklin was one of the American founding fathers. He was a politician, writer, publisher, diplomat, scientist and inventor. It is Franklin’s picture on the $100 note. In his autobiography, Franklin relates a story about an unnamed hostile rival in the Pennsylvania Assembly who treated him with disdain.

Franklin set out to turn this antagonistic rival into a fan. Franklin was quite a book collector and discovered his rival had a particularly scarce book. He sent the rival a letter asking to borrow the rare book. His rival was flattered and agreed to lend Franklin the book. A week later Franklin sent it back with a thank-you note. The Ben Franklin effect comes from what happened next. The next time the legislature met, the rival approached Franklin and spoke to him in person with “a readiness to serve”. They became great friends, and their friendship continued to Franklin’s death.

Ben Franklin observed that if he asked a colleague for a favour, the colleague liked him more than if he did not ask him for a favour. At first glance, this seems counterintuitive. If you ask a person for a favour, you would think you would like the person more because they did you a favour; however, this is not the case. When a person does someone a favour, they feel good about themselves. The Golden Rule states that if you make a person feel good about themselves, they will like you. Asking someone to do you a favour is not all about you. It is all about the person doing you the favour.

"He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged." 

~ The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

Do not overuse this technique because Ben Franklin also said, "Guests, like fish begin to smell after three days" (as do people who ask too many favours). Getting people to like you is easy if you follow the Golden Rule. The hard part is following the Golden Rule because we must put the interest of others above our own.

The Ben Franklin effect disputes the idea that we do nice things for people we like, and ignore or mistreat those we don’t. The psychology shows we grow to like people for whom we do nice things, and end up disliking those to whom we are unkind. This leads to us building more social support with others the more we help them.

So next time you need to build rapport with someone who doesn’t seem to like you - try the Ben Franklin effect to improve your relationship with them.

The Backwards Law

The Backwards Law was popularized by Alan Watts, but it actually comes from Tao Te Ching, the 2000-year-old classic Chinese text which became the basis of Taoism. It is the idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place. 

The more you desperately want to be rich, the more poor and unworthy you feel, regardless of how much money you actually make. 

The more you want to be sexy and desired, the uglier you come to see yourself, regardless of your actual physical appearance. 

The more you desperately want to be happy and loved, the lonelier and more afraid you become, regardless of those who surround you. 

The more we pursue trying to feel better all the time, the more we reinforce this idea that we are fundamentally lacking and irreparable.

Watts describes it as being in a lake. If you relax and put your head back, you’ll float. But the more you struggle and flail around trying to stay afloat, the more you will sink. Thus, wanting positive experiences is a negative experience – and accepting negative experiences is a positive experience!